The Birth Story of Nathaniel Travis

This is the story of how Nathaniel, my third baby, entered the world, as told by his mama.  He was born naturally at Swedish Medical Center, after a transfer from Mountain Midwifery Center, our fantastic freestanding birth center.

The facts: 3 days of intermittent early labor, 5.5 hours active labor. Transferred to hospital after meconium present in the amniotic fluid. No complications from meconium - APGARs of 8 and 9.  8lb 0oz, 19-1/2 inches of perfection. Born four hours before the equinox.  Golden blonde hair like a halo.

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Tuesday, July 21 (30 Weeks, 4 days)

I started having intense, painful Braxton Hicks contractions.  I freaked out a little bit.  These continued pretty much until the end of my pregnancy.  I assumed this meant that baby would come very early indeed, but it was not so.  Mostly it was just annoying and exhausting.  I spent much of the third trimester running from the chiropractor to the acupuncturist to the massage therapist trying to feel better.

Saturday, September 19 (39 weeks, 1 day)

I was having timeable, crampy contractions about 3 minutes apart.  They were very very mild - not painful at all.  But they happened all day long.  Finally I called the birth center in the afternoon, and after laying down and drinking water and "waiting-and-seeing," the midwife on call and I determined that I should go in to get checked.  At the check, I was 1cm dilated, 0% effaced, and the baby was high and not engaged - the same as at my appointment a few days prior.  So no new progress.

Last picture as a family of four

Last bump shot at 39+1

T and I took the opportunity to grab a mattress run night and a final date-escape to the Hyatt Place Denver Tech Center just the two of us. It was very calming.

Sunday, September 20 (39 weeks, 2 days)

Contractions had petered out overnight but they started back up again, regular, timeable and more intense than the previous day.  They started to be a bit painful. I called the on-call midwife in the evening.  I told her that I'm going to bed to get some rest, but I was sure I would see her later that night.  I then slept through the night.

Monday, September 21 (39 weeks, 3 days)

Contractions started up again mid-day, similar in timing and intensity to Sunday's.  Determined not to overreact, I didn't call the midwife, instead waiting for them to get more intense and closer together.  They never did.

Tuesday, September 22 (39 weeks, 4 days)

Upon getting ready for the day, I lost my mucus plug around 730am.  It came with brown blood.  I would have preferred to see pink or red, because I wasn't convinced anything was actually happening after three days of teasing.  But the timing did remind me of Clara's birth, and I was hopeful that it was finally time.

Knowing that it would probably be just another day like the previous three days, I went about my business.  I had a chiropractic adjustment, got a pedicure, had an acupuncture session, and went to Costco.  I had strong intermittent contractions starting around my acupuncture appointment, but they weren't in any sort of pattern.  At Costco, I would pause in the aisles pushing my giant cart to let a contraction pass.

4:30pm: I get home from Costco in the late afternoon quite worn out.  I sit down on the couch to take a break and expect the contractions to peter out.  They don't.  In fact they get stronger and I start timing them.  They are intense enough that I need to breathe through them and get up and dance through them.

5pm: Travis arrives home from picking up the kids, and I tell him I think this is it.  He needs to plan to go to the birth center sometime tonight.  And I think we are going sooner than later, so he better hurry up and eat something.  The contractions are strong enough that I feel like I want to vocalize a bit - this was a bit of a red flag for me, and I had been planning to make that the decision point for going in.

5:50pm:  I call the on-call midwife, Tiffany.  She tries to persuade me that it's still too early, but agrees to check me if I come in, and we can go from there.  I ride down the canyon laying in the back of the Jeep in a pile of pillows. I have 4 contractions on the way. So much better than laboring in the front seat!

7pm: We arrive at the birth center. My check on arrival shows that I'm 3cm dilated, 50% effaced, baby engaged in pelvis, bag of waters protruding.  I labor in the sling, and the contractions intensify.  I'm singing, swaying my hips, groaning, breathing, doing horse lips.  I feel like a warrior goddess medicine woman. The midwives mostly leave me alone because two other mamas are pushing.  I am more than okay with this.  In between contractions I get better acquainted with the student midwife and the doula on call.  I feel like I totally know what I'm doing.

Warrior birth goddess medicine woman

8:30pm:  My waters break (SROM). I send Travis to tell them, smug that we didn't come in too early after all. The student midwife sees dark tinted fluid on the floor and says "meconium."  On the next contraction, I pass more water along with a big glop of thick meconium - ew.  They break the news that I need to go over to the hospital.

In some cases, meconium in the water means that the baby is in distress and needs out immediately.  In other cases (like what would turn out to be mine) baby just gets impatient and can't wait to poop. Regardless of whether the baby is stressed or not, if there is meconium in the water, there is a danger of meconium aspiration that could cause breathing complications after birth.  So between the "baby could be in distress" risk and the "danger of meconium aspiration" risk, meconium in the water is generally a case for hospital transfer.

They check me: I'm at 5cm dilated, 100% effaced.  If I was at 8cm, they'd let me stay at the birth center and worry about potential transfer afterwards.  But at 5cm... I'm moving fast and I'm a third time mom, but they don't know how fast labor will continue.  I could stall.  So we need to go.

I take the news well at first, take a deep breath, and tell myself I'm okay with this and I can do this.  Everything will be okay.  This is the best thing to make sure the baby is safe.  They start to prepare me. The student midwife places a saline lock in my left arm, and I start to emotionally break down a little. The contractions are stronger and I wonder what I'll do without the sling. I'm kind of terrified they'll make me lay down, and I can't imagine laying down. I didn't write a birth plan because the birth center is the birth plan, so in between increasingly intense contractions, I start to mentally catalog all of the requests I need to make at the hospital.  We request that the doula on call, Kari, come with us to the hospital, which is partially what she is there for. Since I'm progressing pretty fast and clearly in active labor, we'll take an ambulance instead of driving over. Midwife Tiffany says she's going to ride in the ambulance with me.

9pm: The ambulance is ready. I walk into the hall and there's a gurney set up.  They are like, "We need you to lay down on that."  I'm like, "Hell, no."  I can't figure out how in the heck I'm going to lay down and get through contractions - it seems like torture.  It takes a few contractions to get my gumption, but my rational mind prevails in convincing my primal mind that we really do need to do this, and I lay down on my side on the gurney.  Tiffany climbs into the ambulance with me and holds my hand while we drive.  Travis rides in the ambulance too, and does counterpressure on my back. Kari drives over to the hospital in her own car.

During the drive I can start to feel sacral/rectal pressure, which means "not yet but soon."  I tell Tiffany the baby's in my butt.  Tiffany requests the driver "go emergent," which is funny, because it's all of 4 blocks from the birth center to the hospital.  They wheel me in through the ER and straight up to the L&D unit.

9:15pm: We arrive L&D. My check on arrival shows 6cm dilated. The nurses and deck doc introduce themselves.  I jump off the bed as soon as I can and labor standing up next to the bed. They elevate the bed so I can prop my arms up on it.  This works pretty well in the absence of the sling.  In between contractions, I tell nurses and doc my "birth plan": I want to labor standing up or on hands and knees. I want delayed cord clamping. I want immediate skin-to-skin with baby, unless there are complications from meconium. Everyone is calm and accommodating.  "Yes, we can do that. Yes, we know where you came from - we can do low-intervention birth."

Laboring in the hospital supported by Midwife Tiffany and Doula Kari

I labor standing up until I really feel him moving down in my butt, then Tiffany and Kari suggest getting up on the bed on my knees facing the back of the bed, which they elevate for me.  I rest between surges laying forward. I start to roar - I know he's close.  Tiffany holds the fetal monitor on my belly and tells me in my ear that she's not leaving me.  Typically the birth center midwives have to leave once the patient is officially handed off to the hospital staff in a transfer situation.  She says "You're so close," but I already know that.

Pushing.  I also gave birth just like this.

I'm in transition or pushing - it's hard to tell at that point, and a lab tech comes in to draw some blood.  My hands are shaking so bad and my whole body is convulsing with the force of each surge.  But okay, buddy, if you want to try and stick a needle in there, more power to you.  He leans across my face to scan my ID bracelet and his scrubs brush my nose - they reek of cigarettes.  I throw him out of the room: "Get him out of here!  He stinks!"  He yells over his shoulder while running away, "Sorry!  I'll get someone else!" (Spoiler alert: no one else came.)

Just a couple surges later, baby drops fast again, and his head is right there.  I'm still wearing my birth skirt, so I'm pretty sure no one can really see that he's crowning, so I yell "Ring of fire!" to alert everybody in the room that they have about 30 seconds.  A nurse calls for the doc to come in.  I'm still facing the back of the bed so I can't really see who is there or what is going on behind me.  I'm just all business - I want him out.  I push his head part way out, and then take that impossible pause for him to get his shoulders around.  I pushed the rest of him out in one big effort at 1005pm.

They caught Nathaniel upside down and cleared the meconium, got him to cry out, then handed him to me between my legs.  I know I make short cords, and Clara's cord broke after birth because I turned over in the tub as the midwife pulled her up out of the water. Not wanting to repeat that situation by making a sudden movement, I waited for instructions before I turned around on the bed.  Once they passed him to me and I was clutching him to my chest, I flopped over to deliver the placenta.

Just born

Doc gently told me, even though it had only been a few minutes, that my placenta had already separated and the cord wasn't pulsing.  He asked permission to go ahead and cut the cord.  I felt very respected by the exchange.  I took their urgency to mean they were nervous about my bleeding and wanted to get the placenta out and the uterus shrinking.  Having hemorrhaged after Andrew's birth, I didn't really want to mess around, and knowing that those first minuts of delayed cord clamping are the most important ones, I agreed. Travis cut the cord. I delivered the placenta at 1009pm, and I reminded them that I wanted to keep it.

Daddy cuts the cord

After that everything rapidly calmed down.  Since Nate's vitals were great and there was no evidence of meconium aspiration, we were skin-to-skin for an hour before he got his exam.  They respected that I didn't want him bathed and I was able to decline the eye ointment and the other post-birth interventions.  Tiffany left shortly after birth after giving me a hug.  Kari stayed with us until they moved us from the delivery room into the "Family Care" overnight room.

First picture with mom and dad

My amazing midwife

I stayed overnight.  The OB cleared me to leave at 7am. Our pediatricians have privileges at this hospital, so Nate got to see Dr. Joe the next day and get cleared for discharge that afternoon.

On the way home from the hospital, we stopped and bought a Dairy Queen ice cream cake.  Travis had it decorated "Happy 0th Birthday, Nathaniel."  When we got home, we had a birthday party.

Meeting siblings

Big brother

Clara calls this "milking the baby."

Birthday cake

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There's a longer story that precedes this one, a story that doesn't really belong here.  I will sum up for context.  I came into this pregnancy feeling super confident about birth.  Not only had I done birth twice before and had amazing experiences, but I had also gone through a significant personal transformation that resulted in my being more aligned with my own intuition than ever before.  Coming from this place, we planned a home birth, despite our home being a slightly long 35 minutes from the nearest hospital in case of backup (not counting potential time to get an ambulance up and down our driveway). I saw a home birth midwife for prenatal care for the first half of my pregnancy, up to 25 weeks.

In the end, several things happened and it didn't work out with the home birth midwife.  We joyfully and gratefully ended up back at Mountain Midwifery for prenatal care for the second half of pregnancy.  At the time that we transferred care, Travis commented, "What if this is the time that we really need to be near the hospital?"

This whole pregnancy was rough for me.  It was not as rough as many women have it, but compared to my previous pregnancies, which I have now discovered were relatively easy, this was rough.  Having prodromal labor for three days was just the icing on the cake of it, but kind of summed up the irritating quality of the whole experience.

That said, once labor really and truly started, I felt like a pro.  I was so happy to be in birth, to be doing the work, to be standing on the bricks.  I felt like a goddess there, laboring in the sling, singing and mooing and knowing that my baby was coming and I was equal to this task.  When my water broke, I smiled with knowing - yes, this is how it goes.  This is how we do this.  I am doing this.

When they said that we had to transfer to the hospital, it didn't even compute in my head.

Overall, it was absolutely the best possible transfer scenario I could have possibly envisioned.  Everyone was safe, like a birth center birth with the security of hospital medical backup.  Because everything was okay, I was able to get everything that was on my birth plan after all. My planned birth attendants were even able to stay with me through the birthing, even with the change of venue.  It was a seamless experience.

But even though I rationally/intellectually know all that, and I am so, so happy with the experience I had, I am disappointed and sad that we had to transfer to the hospital.  I cried in the first few days and some of the grief around it came up - that I didn't want to go to the hospital.  I don't know if I'm finished processing all of it, but I'm trying to let myself feel the feelings without judgment, and without trying to convince myself that everything was okay.

It was also interesting just the difference in language used at the hospital than at the birth center.  Obviously my individual needs and wishes for a natural, low-intervention experience were honored in the hospital, but it was evident that there was a intervention-heavy birth climate in place there.

I had no less than three nurses ask me "When is he going to be circumcised?"  Not "Will he be circumcised?" but "when?" Nate was offered a pacifier for his hearing test without consulting me first. I mentioned to the nurse that Nate seemed to be having trouble latching on one side, but no offer of help or a lactation consultant was made.

In the rotating door of staff that came to my hospital room the next day, I had an anesthesiology person drop by to "check my epidural site." I told her I didn't have an epidural.  She said, "Oh I know you don't have one right NOW.  I mean the one you had for your childbirth."  I was like... yeah... didn't have one. She stuttered, "So.. you... went natural?  ALL natural?  Um... okay... um... cute baby.  Have a good day."  I feel like I know plenty of people who go natural in the hospital, especially here in Colorado - why is this so shocking?  And why can't they disguise their shock?  It's so weird.

In the end, it was a wonderful birth experience.  I am very glad that we were at the birth center originally, because transferring to the hospital from home was going to suck, and I would have had to do it because of the meconium present.  I am very appreciative of the birth center births that I did have, and am even more convinced that out-of-hospital birth is best for me for low risk births.

And I am thrilled to have had the opportunity to give birth again.  This is likely, barring divine intervention, my last time doing this.  It has been so sweet to experience the awesome power of birth three times, and I'm struggling to find the words to express how much this has meant to me, and to my human experience.

For now I will say that I am super excited to continue to pursue adventure with my family in the next phase of our lives together.  Onward!

Nathaniel "Nate" Travis

Links:
Andrew's birth story
Clara's birth story
Birth Reading and Resources
Mountain Midwifery Center
Cocoon Birth, On-Call Doula Services
Doula Kari Gallinger
Misty Rauscher, Placenta Encapsulation

The Birth Story of Clara Joy

This is the story of how Clara, my second baby, entered the world, as told by her mama.  She was born at Mountain Midwifery Center, Colorado's only freestanding birth center, in the Tent Room.

The facts: 19 hours of intermittent early labor, 3.5 hours active labor, 6 or so pushes.  Born in the water and a little slow to take her first breath.  7lb 4.5oz, 19-1/4 inches of perfection. World champion breastfeeder.

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Sunday, June 3 (37 weeks, 4 days) - Felt tired, crampy, weird.  Stayed in bed half the day.

Monday, June 4 (37 weeks, 5 days) - Had a prenatal massage.  Cramps in the evening, seeming to come in waves, but no real pattern.  Went away during sleep.

Friday, June 8 (38 weeks, 2 days) - Feeling weird and crampy again.  Not a lot of energy.  We went to Colorado Springs for the weekend, and I got in some pool time which made me feel a lot better!

Saturday, June 9 (38 weeks, 3 days) - The baby dropped!  This made me feel like I had to go to the bathroom all the time, and the waddle increased.  On the other hand, I had more room up top to breathe, and she seemed to be riding better in my pelvis which decreased the pain in my pelvic joints.

38weeks 5day bump, post-dropping - in my favorite shirt :)

Thursday, June 14 (39 weeks, 1 day) - I had fairly strong menstrual-like cramps at night and all morning. At my 39 week appointment, we saw Rachel (a student midwife) and Sarit, and Rachel performed my first internal exam.  I was 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, cervix completely posterior (boo), baby at -1 or -2 station (yay!).  We went to Travis's work group's picnic where I ate BBQ for dinner... turns out there may be a theme here...

Friday, June 15 (39 weeks, 2 days) - I woke up to pee at 5am, and found that I was losing my mucous plug.  I never saw the mucous plug with Andrew, and so like most things labor related, I wondered if I would know it if I saw it.  Answer: yes.  It's pretty obvious.  It was streaked with pink - I don't know if I'd call it bloody show, but some say that any pink at all is bloody show, so there you go.  I was super excited, regardless, because it seemed like things were starting to happen.

I crawled back into bed for my final hour of sleep, when I was hit by a mild-but-real labor contraction.  Anyone who has been in labor probably knows what I mean by "mild but real."  They are so different from Braxton Hicks, or the crampy stuff.  You are like, yep, baby's coming.  No doubt in my mind.  The difference compared to last time was that they were mild enough that I could just wait them out in bed - no need to move, no need to vocalize.  I had a couple of these and was too excited to sleep, so I woke Travis up, knowing that it would probably be our last chance to have a quality cuddle for the foreseeable future.  We cuddled and chatted and timed them - they were 12-15 minutes apart.

I got up and started moving around and soon after the pattern broke down, so that I had had them for about 1.5 hours.  I decided that I'd go into work for at least a little while to tie up my loose ends - I figured it was a good bet that I wouldn't be back on Monday, so I wanted to take the opportunity to wrap things up - one that I didn't really have the first time around.  By the time I got to work I was only having very intermittent mild contractions, but when I had them they were still definitely real ones.    I notified my doula and the birth center that some things were happening, but I didn't want to seem over eager, so I just said, "It might not be today, but probably this weekend."  I lost some more of my mucous plug at 11am.

I continued to have random, intermittent, mild contractions throughout the day, but by the time I went to bed, nothing was happening.

Saturday, June 16 (39 weeks, 3 days) - At 12:30am I woke up to a contraction, similar to the ones I had been feeling during the day.  I got up to pee, glanced out the window at the night weather, then headed back to bed.  No sooner had I laid down than another one hit me, so I busted out the contraction timer app on Travis's iPhone to time them while I attempted to go back to sleep.

Well, it turns out they were 5 minutes apart, and I was having trouble laying still through them, so I decided to go lay on the couch and let Travis get as much sleep as possible.  When the first one hit on the couch, I flew up off of it - no, laying down was not going to work for me.  So I got up and paced around the house breathing through them, trying not to get too excited, waiting for the hour to elapse before I was to call the midwife on call.  I contemplated baking cookies (this is what I do in the romanticized early labor in my head), but that seemed so dang *involved*.  I opted to make an egg sandwich instead, figuring that if this was the real thing (ha! denial!), I'd need some sustenance.

While I was making my eggs, I really started to vocalize through the contractions, leaning on the kitchen counter and swaying my hips.  I was cautious of my volume - I didn't want to wake Mr. Andrew up in the middle of the night!  But soon, I couldn't help it - they were too intense to be quiet.  At the peak of one particularly strong one, my water broke with a pop and a gush all over the kitchen floor.  Relief, though momentary, was instantaneous.  I dreaded that the contractions would get instantly tougher, but they really didn't - they just marched on.  It was 1:30am.

I now figured I'd best call the midwife - not only had my water broken, but it had been about an hour of 5-minutes-apart anyway. Sarit was on call (a good thing I had met her for the first time at my appointment on Thursday!) and I gave her the status.  She asked, "What are your contractions like?"  I responded, "Well, here comes one.  I need to vocalize; you can listen." When I was finished with my mooing/groaning/humming, she said, "Yeah, you need to come in."  I said, "Are you sure?  I came in *way* too early last time." And she was like, "A second time mama who sounds like that?  You *need to come in.*"

So I called up my doula, Jessica B, with "I'm very sorry to wake you, but... I'm having a baby."  And I got Travis up out of bed.  Travis, in turn, got Grandpa Jerry up for final instructions about care for Andrew overnight and to help load the Jeep.  We left the house right about 2am.

Final bump shot - still smiling!

 The ride down to the birth center was much worse than last time.  My contractions were really tough to bear in the car.  I would cling to the handle above the door and gasp, "How can people give birth in the hospital confined to a bed like this???  This is torture!!"  I needed mobility - it was all I could do not to open the door and jump out going 60 mph on US 285.

We finally got there at 2:35a, and met Jessica in the parking lot.  I forced myself to take the stairs this time, knowing that the pelvic motion was exactly what I needed.  I had to stop and handle a contraction in the stairwell, but being on my feet and mobile was SO MUCH BETTER than being in the car!

We arrived in the midst of a veritable maelstrom of babies (it turned out there were like 6 or 7 babies born that weekend at the birth center!).  The log room and the blue room were in use, so we took the tent room.  The tent room had been our first choice room with Andrew, but we ended up in the log room then, and learned to appreciate the benefit of a large amount of space.  So this time around our order of preference was purely size based... and so the tent room was now our third choice.  Ah well, clearly we had liked it at some point.  I was just happy to be there.

We came in and I had several contractions leaning over the bed, which were really tough because the bed was pretty low, so I was pretty bent over.  Everyone was so chatty - hey how are you, how's it going, good to see you, and I'm like, dude, I'm in labor here!  I can't just stand here!  So I headed over by myself and dove into the sling hanging from the ceiling.   This had worked really well with Andrew's labor, and so I knew it was a sure thing.  It was at the right height and allowed me to really keep my hips in motion while having some support.  Jessica came over and massaged my low back.

They wanted to do my internal check "at arrival" - I didn't want them to.  Internal checks had caused me so much pain in my first labor.  The student midwife who was there, Corey, did it, and let me tell you, it was the best cervical check I've ever had.  Gentle and quick - can't argue with that!  I was 5cm, 100% effaced, baby at 0 station.  I was totally excited by this - that was great work already done!  Judging by Andrew's labor, I only had 6-7 hours to go.  The time was 2:50am.  Back to the sling I went for more.

Not long after I went back to the sling, I started to have no breaks.  The contractions would rise up and peak, but when they came down again, there was no release.  There was always this baseline tension in the bottom of my belly (near my cervix, presumably).  Because of this, it was incredibly difficult to relax between contractions, and labor got pretty hard.  I looked up at Jessica, suddenly afraid that I couldn't do this for another 6 hours.  She told me that it wouldn't be another 6 hours, but I didn't know how to believe her.  She suggested I get in the tub.  I initially resisted, again saying that I got in the tub way too early last time.  But once the idea had a chance to really percolate down through the intensity I was feeling, I figured it was probably a good idea to try it.

Before I got in the tub, I wanted to go to the bathroom - I had been feeling like I needed to have a BM.  But I couldn't go.  This was my first indication that baby was close -- maybe a lot closer than I had previously thought. 

In the tub, with doula Jessica

Laboring with Travis, and midwife Corey looking on

All I wanted to do was hold Travis's hands.  Also, I was hot and needed cold washcloths on the back of my neck.

Very, very shortly after I got in the tub, I started having lots of sacral and rectal pressure - a familiar sensation from Andrew's birth... that meant pushing was just around the corner.  I was almost done!  This realization helped me understand that I really wouldn't be doing this that much longer - the finish line was already in sight!  I kept saying "so much pressure."  Corey wanted to know if I felt like I had to push.  "Not yet, but soon."  

My legs were cramping up underneath me as I was on my knees in the tub, and I tried to shake them out behind me.  Jessica leaned into the tub and massaged them for me, which helped.

About two or three contractions later, I felt the baby move down and I really did have the urge to bear down and push.  This was a nearly completely different sensation from Andrew's birth where the pushes rolled through my body like a freight train, with me hanging on for dear life and dangling off the back over the tracks.  Here I felt in control, like I was a conscious player, along with my body, working together to get the baby out.  I leaned forward over the side of the tub, then sat back on my knees, then leaned forward again.

Corey asked me to tell her when I felt burning, by which I knew she meant crowning, but I figured we were still a ways away from that point.  Imagine my surprise when a push or two later, baby's head was right there.  "Burning!  I've got burning!  She's crowning!" Corey reached down to confirm, and I got down to work moving baby's head out.  I could feel the stretching as she moved down and out.  I felt something pop up front, which I thought was me tearing, but I only ended up with a skid mark up there, so I'm not quite sure what it was that I felt.  

But then... I lost the urge to push.  There was no contraction.  I asked how far out she was - "Her head is halfway out," they said.  And I sat back on my heels, pausing, letting myself stretch to get around her.  I reached down behind me and could feel the curves of her face.  It hurt, it burned, but it was so cool to have a moment of respite in the midst of such intensity.  Finally the next contraction came, and I felt the pop of her chin as her head came out and there was a bit of relief.  I waited for the contraction after that to push again, and I swear I felt her push off inside me, like a swimmer pushing off the wall, right before her body came shooting out into the water.

I was ecstatic - what an experience!  I lifted my leg around and reached under me to scoop her up and bring her out of the water and to my chest.  Sarit was moving a loop of cord from around her neck at the same time, and the force of both of us pulling at once broke the umbilical cord! It broke off about 4 inches from Clara's body.  I felt so bad!  I wanted to let it stop pulsing, to let her have all the blood she could gather, like Andrew had had.  But I guess it's just something that happens on occasion, more often during waterbirths, It seems.

But then I realized that she wasn't yet moving.  She was slow to breathe after coming up out of the water.  It was really only a few seconds before she twitched, whimpered, and then cried out in earnest, but it was long enough to ask, "Is she okay?" and then to exclaim, "I love you, I love you, I love you," as if my love alone could make her be all right.  She came to, but they gave her a few puffs from the ventilator bag, just to be safe.  Her first APGAR was a 6, but her second was up to 9.  She was just fine.

Just born.

 She was born at 3:56am, approximately 2 hours after we left home, 1.5 hours after arriving at the birth center, an hour after I was 5cm at my first and only internal exam, and 20 minutes after getting in the tub.  We could have counted the number of contractions I had before getting in the tub, in the tub before pushing, and pushing before birth.  It was just incredibly fast.

We got out of the pool and moved to the bed where I birthed the placenta (easier than I remember from last time).  I was completely high on cloud 9.  Everything was awesome, nothing could bring me down.  I felt SO AMAZING.  Clara rooted around and I helped her latch on... which she did right away like a pro, and I could hear her gulping.  No pain for me, this time!

Hi, mama.

Skin to skin with daddy

"There's milk around here somewhere, right?"

 I was whisked off to my herbal bath where I just relaxed in my post-birth awesomeness.  Clara and Travis went off for the newborn exam.  In answer to one of our really big questions, it looks like Clara also has Milroy's Disease (Primary Congenital Lymphedema) - her left foot was/is quite swollen, and her right one just a little bit.

Squirmy worm on the scale

Daddy trims the cord

For some reason, I love this picture.

Mommy's done with her bath and ready to rejoin the cuddle party.

The first of many daddy-daughter naps

Dressed and ready to go home

Big seat, little girl

We lounged and relaxed (and tried not to fall asleep) for the requisite 4 hours before we could be discharged.  We got home just after 8:30am... about 6.5 hours after we had left.  Andrew (13.5 months old) was just eating his breakfast.  He was a little bewildered, but kind of fascinated by the little thing we brought home.

Meeting big brother Andrew, who was eating his breakfast

Grandma and Grandpa

"Gentle touches"

Andrew got a new shirt too.

Andrew wants to be part of the cuddle party

Andrew got a baby of his own to take care of.

And just like that... we had two kids.

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Most of my reflections on Clara's birth are framed in my experience of Andrew's birth.  Coming into this birth, I was incredibly fearful that it would be different from last time.  I had a great experience with Andrew's birth, and even though there were things I hoped to tweak about birth the second time around, the devil you know is better than the one you don't.  Little did I know how amazing it would be, and how different.

The most obvious difference was the length of labor.  Contraction to contraction, Andrew's 15 hour labor was easier to handle -- I was even falling asleep between contractions, that's how relaxed I was able to get.  However, though I had a moment where I wondered if I could handle it this time, there's something to be said for getting in, done, and out in a few hours.  It was super intense, yes, but the super intense part only lasted for about 20 minutes (so... four or five contractions?).  In hindsight, it was totally easy.  In the middle of it, I would have never imagined I'd be able to use the word easy.  It's too bad you have no idea how far you have to go - that uncertainty about duration is the one thing that makes birth incredibly difficult.  It's not the pain, it's the question of how long is this pain going to last?

I was very reluctant to try new things to make myself feel better this time.  I knew I wanted/needed to be mobile, and I did a really good job with that.  But Jessica offered to rub my back and I was really hesitant - what if it made it worse?  She suggested I get in the tub - but what if it made it worse or was too early?  I don't know why I had such resistance to trying things.  I feel like I did a lot more experimentation last time.  But then, I had a lot more time for experimentation last time.

Mobility was SO SO key for this labor.  I know I've said it several times, but it bears repeating.  With Andrew I wanted to lay down, sit, be still.  I wanted to change that this time, and I did a lot of walking, hip motion, swaying.  The worst part was being in the car where I was forced to remain in one (reclining) position.  I truly believe that mobility is foundational to natural birth, and any mamas who want to go that route, that's my biggest piece of advice to you - stay on your feet, stay in motion.  Even in the tub, stay in an active position.

I mentioned it in the story, but the pushing part was so amazing this time around.  I felt... not "in control," because you aren't really in control in labor, especially the second stage... but I suppose I felt controlled.  I at least felt participatory.  I felt active.  I felt like I was consciously helping the process.  I did feel a relief, and not a terror, when pushing came.  I did feel that I was able to pause and let myself stretch.  And I could feel everything that was happening, so much so that I could narrate it for the birth attendants while I was laboring in the water: "Okay, her head is out.  I'm going to wait a second.  Okay, here's a contraction.  She's out!"

I did use Hypnobabies as birth preparation again.  Again, I didn't listen to the tracks at all during my labor.  I did use the techniques somewhat, but the technique that was most useful in trying to relax was once again the "horse lips" from Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.  If your lips are relaxed, your other orifices can relax too.  Once again, I can highly recommend Hypnobabies for keeping calm, relaxed, and positive in the weeks leading up to birth, but to be honest, it wasn't that helpful for me during actual labor.

The other fundamental difference was the lack of post-partum hemorrhage.  With Andrew, I bled a lot - my uterus was "lazy" and didn't contract fast enough.  They threw the book of drugs (Pitocin, Cytotec, Methergine) and herbs (Angelica) at me to get it to stop, and it did.  I thought I felt great after that birth, but it was a full four or five weeks until I looked in the mirror and said, "Wow - there I am.  I look like myself."  This time around, the midwives wanted to give me a shot of pitocin prophylactically right after she was born, which I agreed to.  In hindsight, I don't believe that I needed it.  Clara latched on so well, and the afterpains were so strong.  I also had energy in spades after such a short labor.  I practically *skipped* out of the birth center to the jeep, and it was only a couple of days until I was able to look in the mirror and say to my reflection, "Dang, girl!  You look good!"  To this day, (just shy of two weeks later), I have felt fantastic, for nearly my entire post-partum period, both physically and emotionally.  I thought I felt good last time, but this is incredible!  If I wasn't already sold on natural birth, this would totally do it.

I did choose to have the placenta encapsulated this time.  I didn't last time, and since then, my research on the topic says that consuming the placenta may have some awesome benefits (restored energy, hormonal balance, etc.) and has very little downside.  At worst, it seems like it will do nothing.  Unfortunately, I can't tell you how much of a difference it has made, because the lack of hemorrhage and fast, easy birth has made my post-partum experience so much better even without the effects of the placenta.  But it is in the mix.

Another big positive from this birth is that Clara is an amazing breastfeeder.  She had a perfect latch right from the start, and even with the colostrum during her first feeding, I could hear her gulping.  She only lost 4.7% of her weight at the 2 day appointment, and by 9 days post-partum, she had not only re-achieved her birth weight, but shot past it up to 7lb 12oz!  This was so different from Andrew, who had a tongue tie and consequently a bad latch which may have contributed to the hemorrhage, big weight loss, engorgement, and lots of tears on mama's part.  I do think that being a second time nursing mom is so much easier - a little confidence and a little bit of a clue as to how things are supposed to go makes a world of difference.

I'm so thrilled about the way this birth went.  I was afraid it would be different from what I already knew, and it was different... it was even better.  I didn't think it was possible, but it was.  If this was the last time I get to do this, I will have been honored to have such incredible births.  But if I am blessed enough to do this again someday, I will certainly look forward to it!

Links:
Andrew's birth story
Nate's birth story
Birth Reading and Resources
Mountain Midwifery Center
Jessica Bejot, Doula
Misty Rauscher, Placenta Encapsulation

Welcome, Clara Joy!

Please join us in welcoming our newest addition, Clara Joy, born in the water at 3:56am on June 16. 7lb 4.5 oz, 19-1/4 in long. Total labor time was 3.5 hrs... this was a sprint, not a marathon!

Hopefully I'll get the birth story up here sooner rather than later.  For now - we're just basking in the birth glow.