Kind Soul

Tonight I cried a little - nothing serious, just a hard, emotional day.

Andrew followed me into my bedroom and said, "I'm sorry, mama.  What can I do to make it better?"

I could hear the echo of my words in there - the compassion that I show to him when he is inexplicably upset was reflected back on me in waves.  I bathed in it.

I sniffed and said, "I could use a hug."

He said, "Can I hug you in the bed?  That would be good - to hug in the bed."

And he snuggled me gently in the fluffy duvet.

We're a true family - we hold each other up.  Unbelievably blessed.

Love

Andrew said, "I love you, Mama" for the first time unprompted tonight. Then he said it like four times. I think I'm going to explode.

Rain and yoga

Overheard this afternoon -

Mama: Listen! Can you hear the rain?
Andrew: Yes! It sounds like music.

Also we had our first successful family yoga session this evening (there have been several unsuccessful attempts).  Andrew and I did a sun salutation, a warrior II, and triangle pose on both sides.  The kid does a great triangle pose, let me tell you.  

Clara just wanted to walk underneath me during down dog.  

Overheard in the Kitchen

Mama: Look out for Clara.
Andrew: Oh!  I like Clara!

A Few Moments

We played a super-fun game tonight where Travis and I "hid" the toy bowling pins around our upstairs loft/playarea, and Andrew went and found them.  We had to suggest where to look ("Why don't you look in Clara's swing?"), but he caught on really fast  It was our first really structured after-dinner playtime activity, and it was really fun!  He makes this excited growl noise, and he did that whenever he found one.  Love it!

Clara spent a significant amount of time while this was going on next to a diaper box with a picture of a baby and mom on it.  She kept trying to touch the faces and cooing at them.  

Andrew now uses the words "up" and "done" with aplomb.  And he will too, because he wants to see what you are doing.  

Clara giggles when I give her eskimo kisses.

Andrew can now follow instructions into the other room.  "Can you go put your toothbrush on the bathroom sink?"  "Can you put that in the trash can?"  "Can you set this silverware on the table?" These requests are met with the eager thud-thud-thud of little feet. (Whoever said it was pitter patter obviously never met my son.)  He is so thoughtful and conscientious.  I watch him and feel like my heart is going to explode with joy and pride.  I wonder if my mom felt this way about me - wanting to shout from rooftops because my brothers and I were so awesome.  Because that's how I feel about my kids.

Warms My Heart

Today, after I got Andrew up from his nap, I heard that Clara was awake from hers.  I said to Andrew, "Do you want to help me get Clara up?"  He said "Yeah!" and ran into my room.  Clara currently sleeps on a twin mattress on the floor next to my bed.  Andrew ran in, dove onto the mattress on his tummy, and stuck his face in Clara's face.  She beamed a smile at him.  They talked baby talk at each other.

It made my mama heart so happy.

Little man

So this evening I said, "Let's go upstairs and get our jammies on."  And Andrew got down off the couch (and daddy's lap - his favorite spot!) and walked up the stairs with me. No cries of protest, no demand that he be carried.  After changing, he walked back downstairs to brush his teeth, picked out his own storybooks, and walked back to the office to give daddy a hug and kiss goodnight.

I am absolutely floored.  And pleased.  And in love with this big kid.

Emphasis on "Communication"

This morning, after a weird, crappy night and a strange, sleepy morning, Andrew finally woke up happy.  When I went in to get him, he proudly presented me with his clean diaper, which he had removed, and then my nose called my attention to the pile of poop in the middle of the bed.  That's right, he had taken off his diaper in order to go in the crib.

I haven't read *that* much about Elimination Communication, but if that doesn't scream "I would rather not go in my diaper - can we try the potty more often?" I'm not sure what does.  The kid might not have any words, but he's very clear sometimes.

Incidentally, I see it as a sign of my total and complete transition to mommy-hood that I was only the tiniest bit annoyed at having to clean up a poopy bed.  Mostly I was pretty excited that he might be showing signs of awareness that could make our potty experiment more successful.  Yep, it's totally a mom thing.

Mommy's Developmental Milestones

Today, I installed the convertible car seat in the Jeep....  the one that has been sitting in our house for about six months, but which I have been reluctant to use because I am so attached to being able to leave him sleeping in the infant bucket and just unclip the bucket and go about my business.  He did end up falling asleep in the car on the way home... and then I successfully transferred him sleeping from the seat in the car to his bed for the duration of his nap.  I conquered a fear today, and maybe I'm growing as a parent.  I did it!

Also today, we went to "Baby Time" for kids 0-2 at the library for the second time (we went last week with Gma Joyce).  Last week I was very paranoid about him tackling other kids and taking their toys away, and so I hovered over him the whole time, watching like a hawk.  I tried to reign myself in a little bit this week, telling myself that if he's ever going to functional properly in social situations, I should probably let him figure it out a little bit.  Not to mention that he's such a social kid -- it's not like I should be terribly worried.

So today I hung back and watched him tear off crawling across the floor.  And when he got to a smaller baby... he pulled up short and sat next to her!  I was sure he was just going to crawl right over her head.  But he didn't!

Then he spied a toy he wanted and a little one-year-old girl who was smaller than him was playing with it.  He crawled up to her and took it away... and then she took it right back!  He looked at her an blinked, then looked at me across the room, then looked back at her.  Then he crawled to another toy that no one was playing with.

It's funny because I have no real trouble letting him do or try physical things on his own without too much over-worrying interference (climbing stairs, reorganizing my kitchen cabinets, etc.), but when it comes to interacting with other kids, perhaps I project my own introversion onto him and want him to be more cautious?  I guess I have to learn to let him be himself.  One step at a time.

My Sweet Boy

Last night, I was laying on the living room floor while Andrew was playing.  He came over and started drumming on my head (of course).  But then he yanked on my hair.  I yelped!

He sat back and looked at me with this really strange, intense look that was a little concern, a little fear... you could see the wheels turning.  Then after several seconds he leaned forward slowly, and very gently and tenderly, gave me one of his open-mouth baby kisses on the mouth. 

Melted my heart!!!

And so it begins

Last night, while watching Andrew roll over, I had a moment of panic that he was growing up too fast.  Soon he'll be crawling.  Then he'll be talking.  Then he'll be a teenager!!

*sigh*

Rollin'

I've been meaning to update on how we're doing with baby-parenting and development, and today, Andrew gave me a reason.  That's right folks, after working on it for a long time, our boy rolled over from his back to his front this evening.  It was before his bath, stripped down to his diaper.  Free of clothes, he finally got his hip over the top and his shoulder to follow.  As the icing on the cake, he got his arm pulled out from underneath him, too.  Here he is post-roll, looking very proud of himself:

I tried to take a video, but as it was rather late, he seemed to only give half-hearted attempts at it after his first success.  We're still a ways away from rolling front to back, but this was just awesome.  And I'm so thankful that he did it for the first time when I was here - one of my greatest fears about working is missing his developmental milestones.

Also today, before we knew it was going to be such a momentous occasion, we tried out the high chair for the first time.  He did pretty well with it, buckled in and propped up by a pillow, and seemed to enjoy the view.  So exciting!!  He looks like a big boy.

My mommy moment of the day was that after i came home from work I nursed him, and he dozed off.  When I shifted a little he opened his eyes, smiled at me a sweet, sleepy smile, then closed his eyes and drifted back off.  So lovely.

So what else can I tell you?  Andrew is 19 weeks old, and according to The Wonder Weeks, we are smack in the middle of the 19-week developmental leap.  Rolling is most certainly a part of it, but it seems like he's adding new tricks every day.  A couple weeks ago he started blowing raspberries.  He's grabbing things with both hands, and has much better aim when reaching for things.  In the bath, he puts his arms and legs under the stream of water I pour from a cup, and then he twists around to watch me move the cup above his head to wet his hair.  He's smiling almost constantly now, and talking a lot.  He hasn't *really* laughed yet, but he reacts when tickled and the laugh is almost there.  I think he's starting to respond to his name, though Travis thinks he's just responding to someone talking at all.

Of course, along with the leap comes some clingy-ness - he's had a couple of days of not wanting to be put down... ever.  Last weekend in Wyoming, he decided he didn't like to be alone in the backseat because he couldn't see us, and so he started crying every time we rode in the car for more than 5 minutes (which, when you are visiting Wyoming national parks, is a lot).  It's also been interrupting his sleep.

He had started at 12 weeks sleeping one long block of 5-6 hours followed by 3 hrs followed by 1-2 hours and up for the day.  He did that for about 2.5 weeks before getting totally messed up again by what I presume to be the four month sleep regression, combined with my going back to work.  Now, he is sort of back to that schedule, where he feeds at those two times, but he also wakes up 1-3 more times in there and needs to be resettled with a pacifier and soothing.

To handle this sleep schedule and me going back to work, Travis is "taking the first shift" by sleeping on the futon on the floor in Andrew's room with him in the crib until 1:30am or the wakeup thereafter, while I crash in the other room and get real sleep.  Then, I go in to feed him and go back to sleep on the futon, either taking Andrew with me or putting him back in the crib, depending on his mood and willingness to sleep, while Travis gets the quiet room.  So far it's working really nicely - I am getting the best sleep I have gotten since his birth.  I'm hoping he'll come out of this sleep regression and get back to more consistent blocks, but we're up for teething next, and then the 26 week developmental leap, so... possibly I shouldn't hold my breath.

Speaking of my going back to work, it's going pretty well for me.  I'm reminded how much I do like my job, and I like the people, so it's not difficult to be there.  I miss Andrew, but I don't spend all day wishing I were home.  I'm pumping like a fiend three times a day, and most days I pump a whole extra feeding's worth to stock in the freezer, so my supply seems really good.

Travis is doing really well with the daddy-care.  He spends a lot of time playing, and Andrew eats and sleeps well most days.  It remains to be seen how long we'll continue with this arrangement, but for now it's so great that the boys get to hang together.

I really like Andrew's one day a week at in-home day care, and it's not as scary as I feared.  The care provider wears him a lot in her Baby Bjorn, and she shares a lot of the same ideas about parenting as I do - she lays off the pacifier except for naps, is experienced with handling breastmilk, etc.  The kids at the day care really love him and he revels in the attention.

Breastfeeding continues to go well, even with the four-month distractability.  He's more efficient about it, and has way better head and body control, so we've given up the Boppy for nursing.  I love the bonding aspects of it and the way we reconnect after I get home from work.  I can definitely see continuing to nurse for quite a long time.  Like I said, I'm pumping and that's working out.  Andrew takes the bottle from daddy very well.

Next up in terms of feeding for us is Baby Led Weaning - this is where you skip pureed food altogether, and let baby have solid foods when he is able to and has the interest to feed it to himself.  I've offered him a slice of lemon and a stem of broccoli in the last two weeks, and they both ended up simply pushed around the table.  So... not ready for food yet.  But soon.

At any rate, he's doing just fine on mama's milk.  He's entirely skipped the 6 month clothing size and jumped straight from 3 months to nine months.  And his arms are even a little long for some of the 9 month stuff.  His daddy says, "Welcome to my world!"

They are right when they say it goes fast.  He seems so grown up already.

lack of sleep? no problem.

I am dubiously proud to say that after net 3 hours of sleep, broken into two segments (not Andrew's fault), I am able to get up at 6:30am (Andrew's fault) and feel perfectly functional, moreso even than in college..

I feel like a mom.

So does that mean MIT was just sleep training for having a baby?

mommy moment

I love it when he falls asleep up high on my shoulder, but then he moves down to put his head on my chest so he can hear my heartbeat.

*love*